What Has Helped Your Client Get This Far? Making Room for Music in Therapy

When we ask clients about coping, we may hear about exercise, journaling, breathing techniques, or support from others. It is also worth asking about music. A client may have relied on songs for comfort, expression, connection, or companionship long before entering therapy, without ever describing that relationship as a coping resource.

For someone who grew up with frequent moves, financial insecurity, or family disruption, music may have offered something familiar. For another person, it may connect them to culture, faith, family, or a community where they feel understood. The clinical conversation begins with curiosity about the client’s experience rather than an assumption about what music should do for them.

Questions such as “What did people listen to in your home growing up?” or “Is there a song that says something you have trouble putting into words?” can open that exploration. You might also ask what they listen to when they feel overwhelmed, what music brings them joy, or whether their listening habits have changed recently.

Their answers may offer another way to discuss relationships, identity, loss, and sources of support.

If a client wants to bring a song into a session, ask what they would like you to understand about it. A lyric that sounds sad to the therapist might feel validating or hopeful to the client. A song associated with a difficult period might represent survival. Let the client explain the meaning rather than interpreting their music preferences as evidence of a symptom or personality characteristic.

It is equally important to explore when music becomes uncomfortable. A familiar song may bring an unwanted memory, intensify a feeling, or leave someone dwelling on an experience. Ask what they notice before, during, and after listening. If they choose to listen in session, agree that they can pause or stop, and leave time to discuss their response. There is no need to push for an emotional experience.

Exploring music within counseling also requires attention to scope. Discussing personally meaningful songs is different from providing formal music therapy, which requires specialized training. Counselors can remain within their competence by focusing on the client’s associations, choices, and goals, and considering referral when specialized work would be appropriate.

This conversation can help us recognize resources already present in a client’s life. Alongside asking what they need help with, we can ask what has sustained them. Sometimes a song offers a useful place to begin.